Boss Next Door Read online

  “Denial is a powerful weapon we use against ourselves,” she continues. “Sometimes we don’t even let ourselves acknowledge what’s right there in front of our faces.”

  I sit back in my seat and look around the bar as Amber’s words wash over me. Am I actually in love with Braxton and am denying it to myself? I’ll admit to a definite attraction to him. And I can’t deny there’s always been something visceral and intense between us. It’s been a hell of a lot more than a simple flirtation.

  But love is a strong word. Saying that I’m in love with somebody is stronger still. And I don’t know that I’m actually there yet. But then again, my heart and mind are so chaotic around Braxton that I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling most of the time anyway.

  “All I’m saying is that you sleeping with him is not that big of a deal, honey,” Amber says. “It really isn’t.”

  “I feel like I crossed a line.”

  “You didn’t,” she states firmly as if to brook no argument. “You were two people who enjoyed a little time together. End of story.”

  “That’s not the end though.”

  “Hopefully not,” she states. “I hope there’s more to this story. A lot more. I just want to see you happy, Chloe. Happy, in love, and totally at peace for once in your life.”

  I purse my lips. “Right now, I’d settle for being able to get my head to stop spinning.”

  She gives me a devious grin. “I’ve heard great sex can do that for you.”

  I laugh and throw a wadded up napkin at her. “You’re terrible.”

  She shrugs. “Maybe a little,” she admits. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you deserve to be happy, Chloe. You deserve to love and let yourself be loved. You just need to learn to open yourself up to it.”

  “I think I need a lot more than that.”

  “Maybe,” she replies. “But learning to open yourself up to the idea of love is a start.”

  I drain the last of my second martini and think about calling for a third but sit back in my seat instead. Everything in both my head and my heart are chaos right now. I just have such an inexorable pull toward Braxton that it makes me feel completely out of sorts. Out of control. Yes, I care about him. But love? I’m not so sure about that just yet.

  I just don’t know anything, and I can’t think clearly enough to get to the answers I’m seeking. And that drives me crazy. I don’t like not having answers to nagging questions. But I like not even knowing where to start looking for those answers even less.

  I sigh. The only thing I know for certain is that I probably shouldn’t sleep with Braxton again until I figure some things out. Having sex with him – while amazing every time – is only clouding my mind even further and making it harder for me to find not just clarity, but the answers I want.

  For now, I need to avoid the temptation. I need to not give in to baser impulses. It’s going to be difficult, but I can’t have sex with Braxton again. As much as I want to, I just can’t. I won’t. Not again.

  As Amber and I talk for a while longer, my mind keeps drifting back to the impending trip to New York City and wondering whether or not I’ll be able to uphold the vow I just made to myself.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Braxton

  “Okay, so when are you going to tell her?”

  “Soon,” I respond. “I’ll tell her soon.”

  “Dude, when is soon?” Noah presses.

  I lean back in the chair and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to stave off the headache that’s threatening to roll in like a thunderstorm over the Mojave. I’m on the computer, Skyping with Noah, trying to sort through what’s in my head. I told him about what happened between Chloe and I – which he was very enthusiastic about. And then I confessed about sitting on the marriage certificate for almost a decade – which he was decidedly less enthusiastic about.

  “It was a stupid game,” I groan and scrub my face with my hands. “It was never supposed to be real.”

  On the computer screen, he gives me an incredulous look. “Wasn’t it?”

  I sit back in my chair. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He chuckles. “You can’t hide how you feel about her from me,” he says. “I’m wondering if maybe some small piece of you was more into the idea than you even realize.”

  I laugh and shake my head. “It’s not like that, man,” I tell him. “It was just a stupid game we were playing.”

  “If you say so.”

  I take a long pull from my bottle of beer and let my mind spin. Was there some part of me that was hoping it would turn out to be something real? It wasn’t anything I consciously planned – it was a goof. It was just a prank. Wasn’t it? Of course it was.

  “Why have you been sitting on it for so long?” Noah pushes. “Why didn’t you put in the papers to have it annulled?”

  “I meant to,” I tell him. “It was just one of those things – out of sight, out of mind. I honestly didn’t even remember it until I was staring Chloe in the face again.”

  “Well, however it shook out, you need to tell her,” he admonishes me. “She deserves to know that she’s a married woman.”

  “Especially if you want to keep her a married woman,” Nadine’s voice echoes in the background.

  My gut clenches, and I feel like I just got kicked in the balls. I look at Noah on the screen, and he’s doing his best to stifle his laughter.

  “You didn’t tell me your better half was there,” I crack.

  “You didn’t ask,” Noah replies. “If I’d known this was a top-secret call, I would have gone and hid in the bathroom to have this conversation.”

  Nadine’s face pops over Noah’s shoulder, and she smiles wide at me. “Don’t worry, honey. Your secret is safe with me. It’s an easy mistake to make,” she beams. “I mean, who doesn’t accidentally get married like that?”

  I laugh despite myself and shake my head. “Hey, Nadine.”

  “So you two are banging away again, are you?” she pours it on.

  I bury my face in my hands, still laughing but feeling mortified. I really hadn’t wanted to have this conversation in front of Nadine, but Noah was right – when he’d picked up the call, I’d launched right into things without getting a lay of the land first. I’m not worried about Nadine judging me – I just know I look like an absolute moron right now, and I don’t like looking like a moron in front of anybody. Suffice it to say; my pride is taking a real beating right now.

  “We had relations – once,” I admit.

  “Once?” Nadine asks. “That’s obviously not counting the last time you two did the dirty.”

  I feel my face turning red – which is a rare occurrence – and I’m laughing so hard, I can’t catch my breath.

  “Noah, can you please do something about your wife?” I gasp.

  He shrugs. “I’m actually kind of enjoying the show,” he observes with a wide smile. “It’s not often somebody has you back on your heels like this.”

  “Sadist.”

  Our laughter fades after a moment, and Nadine gives me a serious expression. “You know, I can see how much you care about this woman,” she says. “She must be extraordinary for you to have carried a torch for so long.”

  I nod. “She’s definitely extraordinary.”

  “Then make her yours, Braxton,” she urges. “Do whatever you have to do, but do not let her get away.”

  “Again,” Noah chimes in. “Do not let her get away again.”

  I sigh and sit back in my seat. “Pretty sure she’s going to blow a gasket when she finds out about the whole marriage thing,” I mutter. “I may not have a choice in the matter.”

  “There’s always a choice,” Noah says.

  “You just need to approach it delicately,” Nadine adds as she comes around and sits in Noah’s lap, suddenly more invested.

  “I say you play it off like a joke,” Noah says. “Just give her the whole, ‘hey you remember that whole silly wedding we had?’ and make her l
augh about it.”

  “That’s a terrible idea,” Nadine replies. “She probably won’t see this as a laughing matter. From what you’ve told me, she’s a very logical person, which means that she’ll be looking for solutions, not jokes.”

  “No way, you can’t be pissed when you’re laughing,” Noah says.

  Nadine gives him a bemused look. “Oh no? Do you recall being at Andy’s house for dinner a couple of weeks ago? And do you recall me laughing at your jokes all evening?” she says. “And do you remember going home with me that night?”

  Noah chuckles and clears his throat. “Point taken.”

  “You know her best,” Nadine says, turning to me. “Is she going to be more receptive to logic or humor?”

  I blow out a loud breath. “Good question. Ordinarily, I’d say humor,” I tell her. “But this – something like this is kind of uncharted territory.”

  Noah laughs. “Well I’d hope it’s uncharted territory. Unless you make it a habit to dare women to marry you.”

  I guffaw loudly and raise my hands in protest. “Point taken,” I admit.

  Chloe can be very logic based, but she has a terrific sense of humor. But I don’t know how she’ll react to me copping to the fact that I’ve been sitting on a valid marriage license for years. I gave brief thought to pleading and telling her I didn’t know about it, but I rejected the idea the moment it crossed my mind – I’m not a liar. I own up to my mistakes and take responsibility for them. It’s a value that my folks ingrained into me from an early age.

  I guess I should be grateful she didn’t try to get married in the years since, with this license sitting out there. Because that would have been an even more awkward conversation to have. In the background, I hear the doorbell, and Nadine jumps off Noah’s lap. She looks into the camera again and gives me a smile.

  “I know you’ll handle it as well as you handle everything else, Braxton. And she’ll respect and love you even more for it,” she says. “Good luck, and you know we’re here for you anytime you need to talk.”

  “Thanks Nadine.”

  She blows me a kiss and dashes off to answer the door. Noah glances behind him and gives me an apologetic expression.

  “It sounds like you’ve got company.”

  He nods. “Yeah I’m sorry, man,” he says. “Nadine invited our parents over for dinner.”

  I chuckle. “They just can’t get enough of Jackson.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Exactly. They keep asking when we are going to give them another grandbaby,” he tells me.

  “Jackson does need a playmate,” I beam.

  He nods. “He does. But I don’t know if she’s ready for another one yet. We’ll see,” he admits. “Anyway, take Chloe to dinner. Explain the situation to her. I would be willing to bet it won’t be as terrible as you think, and that she’ll be forgiving.”

  “Yeah, maybe not. I can hope, right?” I respond. “Now go hobnob with your parents.”

  He laughs ruefully. “Can’t wait. Good luck, man. And like Nadine said, we’re always here for you.”

  “Thanks, brother.”

  We disconnect the call, and I lean back in my seat, letting my mind play it all out. Not for the first time, I question myself about why I didn’t send in the annulment paperwork when I first got the certificate. Granted, I would have needed her signature on the papers, but that soon after the fact, it would have been more understandable, and I would have been proactive about fixing the situation.

  Now, though, after eight years – she’s going to hit the roof. Chloe is one of the most even-keeled and level-headed people I know, but she’s also got a temper on her. It takes her a while to get to the point of blowing up, and nine times out of ten, she’ll walk away before she does, but I’ve seen her Hulk out before. The woman takes no prisoners. She would never hit somebody – I think she finds physical violence distasteful – but she can skewer you with her words every bit as efficiently and effectively. And in this situation, if she did blow up on me, I’d absolutely deserve it.

  I honestly don’t know how this piece of news is going to settle with her. I can guarantee she’s going to be pissed. But she could also be very forgiving and just want to handle the situation. But even if she is forgiving, how is it going to impact this reconnection we’re having? There’s a small piece inside of me that doesn’t want to risk it all right now.

  We’ve finally managed to tear down the walls between us, and the chemistry and connection is as deep and profound as ever. I fear that I’ll be risking everything, risking watching her walk out of my life yet again if I tell her about the marriage certificate. I’ve only just gotten her back into my life – do I really want to roll the dice that she’ll be understanding about things?

  That small piece inside of me wants to wait until things between us have solidified, and we’ve become integral parts of each other’s worlds again before I confess. But then I think of how difficult it would be to tell her after we have reconnected, and how that would just be sinking like a weight in my chest every time I saw her, every time I talked to her. Keeping it secret for years while we didn’t interact at all is one thing, but while seeing her every day?

  I close my eyes and let myself be consumed by thoughts of making love with Chloe again. It was as incredible as it had been the first time with her. She knows just what to do to turn me on and bring me to the brink. I recall the feel of her skin, her mouth, the scent and taste of her – I replay it in my mind again and again.

  I open my eyes and feel my cock thickening in my pants. The desire I have for her is overwhelming. I’m tempted to call and invite her over, but I don’t want her thinking I only see her as a piece of ass. As somebody I only call when I’m horny and need to screw – she’s not just some random fuckbuddy. I could have as many of those as I wanted – if I wanted. I’ve never had a problem finding women more than willing to come home with me. But I’m well past the age where meaningless one-night stands are fun. I’m well past the age where I’m looking for women to fuck just for sport. Chloe means a hell of a lot more to me than that, and I want a hell of a lot more than just that with her. I want something real. Something meaningful.

  Which means I am going to drag my ass to the bathroom so I can jerk off in a cold shower.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chloe

  My first inkling that something’s up is that when I got to the office this morning, I found a note from Curtis taped to my computer monitor telling me to come see him in his office immediately. Just the scrawl of his handwriting looks angry.

  “Wonderful,” I mutter to myself.

  I put my things away and take a long swallow of my coffee, trying to keep myself from freaking out. I look through the glass wall and out to the pod, noticing that everybody seems to be avoiding my gaze. I like to think everybody on the team likes and respects me, but they’re like anybody else – when the shit starts to fly, they take cover to avoid getting it all over themselves. I can’t really blame them for it.

  Each pod in the building is set up in identical fashion – there are five offices centered around the main hub. Four of the offices are for the designers and one – the largest of course – reserved for the team lead. A long table where the team meets to discuss and update on current projects bisects the room, and there are two desks near the rear of the hub for our admins. All of the walls are made of glass, making it feel like we’re working in a fishbowl.

  When I step out into the main hub, I look over to Curtis’ office and see that his shades are drawn. He’s sitting in the dark in there, brooding. Great. This should be fun. I look around and notice everybody is still studiously trying to avoid my eyes.

  Carrying my cup of coffee, I walk over to Tommy’s office – he’s the senior designer on the team and Curtis’ second in command. Tommy doesn’t like Curtis much, and although he can sometimes be a bit uptight, overall, he’s a pretty good guy. But we have a similar work ethic – we both do whatever’s necessary to get the job
done – and while we may never be drinking buddies, we generally get along fairly well.

  I walk over to his office and lean against the doorway. “Good morning.”

  Tommy looks up at me and gives me a weak grin. “Hey.”

  “Things seem pretty tense around here this morning.”

  He purses his lips and leans back in his chair. An expression of uncertainty flashes across his face, and he looks behind me, perhaps double checking to see that the coast is clear.

  “I don’t know what’s up exactly,” he says quietly. “All I know is that he came in this morning ranting and raving about you and Braxton. Nothing that made any particular sense though.”

  “Great.”

  “What did you do?” he asks.

  I shrug. “I have no idea.”

  “Well you better figure it out quick,” he says softly.

  His eyes subtly shift, and I don’t have to turn around to know what he’s looking at – Curtis is obviously behind me. I let out a long breath and turn around to see exactly what I expected – Curtis, red-faced, anger etched into his every feature – leaning out of his doorway on the other side of the pod, staring at me.

  “When I said immediately, I meant immediately,” he growls. “Not after you’ve made the social rounds.”

  “Right,” I say. “On my way.”

  “Now, Chloe,” he growls.

  I grit my teeth, turn around and march across the pod, feeling like I’m taking that final stroll down death row. I’m pretty sure I have an idea what this is about, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to get ugly. I knew this time was coming, and I’ve been dreading the very thought of it.

  I step into Curtis’ office. He lets the door bang shut behind me. He glares at me as he crosses the office and drops down behind his desk. Doing my best to keep my emotions in check, I sit down in the chair before his desk and cross my legs, propping my coffee up on my knee. I try to keep my face calm and neutral as Curtis sits on the other side of his desk, still glaring at me. He looks like a petulant child, and honestly, it’s irritating me.